Q: How do I know that this will work after everything we’ve tried?
A: Many couples that I have worked with have felt hesitant and even hopeless about trying … YET AGAIN to save their relationship. Many have gone to workshops and read a lot of books in an effort to make their marriage better … . Many of the couples I’ve worked with found that The Gottman method and other ways in which I work are focused on creating LASTING CHANGE and creating hope that their relationship can in fact change for the better. What is important to remember is that this approach is based on the actual live observation of THOUSANDS of couples where the KEYS to a successful and fulfilled partnership are discovered.
Q: What if my partner is reluctant to come in?
A: It is very common for one partner in a relationship to feel somewhat hesitant to come in. In fact, most couples I have seen , had one partner who felt this way. Many people often feel leery about talking to a stranger about your relationship when prior attempts to resolve conflicts have failed. What I have found is that often the partner that was hesitant at the beginning is the one that becomes most committed to the treatment process after they have a chance to have their questions answered about the Gottman method and the ways I work with couples.
Q: What if our disagreements don’t seem to be resolvable?
A: This is a common concern and is very understandable when all of your attempts to resolve the conflicts in your relationship haven’t worked. Many couples I have worked with came in to my office having very little hope that things could change. . I often tell them that part of my job is to be a hope merchant… and I give them simple and concrete ways from this proven method to try right there in the first session. Often they leave my office feeling quite hopeful that this process could be successful and that their problems were in fact NOT insurmountable.
Q: This sounds like a a lot of work. I’m not sure I have the energy to do it.
A: It is a lot of work. However, once you make a commitment to the process, and you make the first step, energy will be freed up for you to continue. Many of the couples I have worked with have found that they in fact GAIN energy by working on their relationship because there is some hope and movement simply by doing something different that is focused on success for the long haul. I know this may sound counter intuitive when you may be feeling depressed. All I can say is try it and trust the process. Sometimes it is better to take a risk than stay stuck in a place that doesn’t work.
Q: How do I know you will be the right choice for us?
A: You won’t know 100% until we meet! Current research shows that the absolute best predictor of success in therapy is the quality of the relationship between the therapist and the client(s). I suggest that the couples meet with me for 3 initial sessions to determine how you feel and to see if we actually are a match. If it feels like it is not a best fit for each other, I will happily refer you to another couples therapist.
Q: Why do you work with couples?
A: In working with hundreds of couples over the years, I have found that couples works is not only the most challenging type of work for me, by also the most rewarding. As I have explored the field of couples therapy, I became committed to finding ways that worked for the long haul and to prevent relapse in the couples that I worked with. The Gottman method and additional therapeutic methods I use have this as their most important mission. This has proven to be a successful approach/framework for helping couples who came to me in my practice.
In addition, I have been married for more than 10 years. I have had the great privilege of being in your shoes…. that is being in the client’s chair. I have had many challenges in my own marriage and have had to learn and use the very KEYS to creating a successful marriage that I will show you!
Call me at 509-979-HELP (4357) to set up a confidential consultation.
If you are interested in music therapy please visit our other website: www.musictherapy4health.com